ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
