piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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