We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Randomize
