After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
