At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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