Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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