We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
