Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
