So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
