I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I don't think brook has ever known best
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
