I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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