Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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