I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
