im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
