haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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