I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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