No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He felt like a one man threesome
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
