shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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