I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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