Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
