I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
