She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize
