Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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