My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
