Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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