i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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