Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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