It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
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don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
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I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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