the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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