Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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