its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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