i just google imaged poop.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
