Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
