4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
