now i know why i became what i already was.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
