Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
