can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize