you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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