I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
