Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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