My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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