I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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