bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
