Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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