actually, I'm a sock model
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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