guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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