Do you still have your period?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
