So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize