I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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