hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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