i was born a porn star she said
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
