So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
