he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
where does the pee come out of this thing
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
