Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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