Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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