Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
