She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
