My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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