Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
