batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
