I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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