I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
