dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
